How to forgive someone

When You Really Do not Want To

We've all heard the saying, "You must forgive, but do not forget." I will not refute, but we have to agree that a lot of people use that excuse to never 'really' forgive at all. Are you one of those people?

Let's rephrase a bit '. "... You must forgive and not forget the anger, pain, anxiety, and all that comes with someone to sin against you. But you do not have to make yourself a target (though Jesus did). Sound a bit 'harder? This is really the Christian way of life, and it's going to be difficult. Nobody promised that it would be like.

We start with forgiveness. This is where you have more control, because it is an act of will. You have to decide to forgive, and then do it. Here is a brief list of what this entails:

No more daydreaming about pain and suffering your executioner.

Stop thinking the 'what if' results, and accept what has happened.

Begin to pray for the person. Not for their punishment, not for them to see the light ... pray for their good and their souls. Saying a simple Hail Mary, without meditating on what you are praying. Meditate on the words, and I dedicate it to your executioner. Let God decide how to reward or punish them.

If you can do something nice for the person, they do so without complaint and without reminding them of what they did wrong.

Stop gossiping about them.

Whenever you find yourself thinking about it, change the subject. Think of the starving children in China, your financial problems, the Child Jesus ... nothing.

Now that (believe it or not) is the easy part. Now it's time to face the anger and pain. Sometimes it's easy. But in case of serious violations, or when someone is hurt a loved one, the idea sounds stupid. And no, you're never completely let go, but you can try everything. And you can start with some of the techniques listed above.

You'll probably have to take it further. You have to swallow those emotions. Bury them deep. Yes, I'm going against what every therapist out there is preaching, but to talk and sulk is no way to overcome anything. Have you had your period of piety, it is time to move on. When you feel the flame of anger building inside you, strength to the back of your mind and let the waste die.Don t 'another second of your life stew. It will take practice, but every day is another chance.

Finally, there is the last part. This is where most of us have problems. This is also where we must weigh our obligations, and choose the most important thing. Here are some questions to help you resolve:

This means that someone under your protection? I'm talking especially to parents. Our children obviously come first, and that we have an obligation to put them in danger.

This leads to a sexual violation? There is no need to go to this. If someone is not treating your body like a temple of Christ, then stay away from them.

What does damage? The big question here is, 'How'? A boy at school not to offer himself to the bully wedgie, but a pop in the arm is usually more a matter of humiliation to injury. If the body is damaged by someone, you have the right to stop them ... but again, Christ did not. Furthermore, assume that the person is likely to get hurt again. If you have an event once, you should let go. On a side note: domestic violence is repeated several victims, especially children. And the track record to show that very few offenders 'strike once.' If you're trying to figure out whether or not to leave such a situation, thinking stoop to exit.

What does personal property? Who is owned? If you are raising a family, we can not risk it all and ignore their needs. But ask yourself if the amount stolen or damaged is worth the hassle of not trusting someone new.

This means your good name? Hunker down and forget about it. The truth will set you free. Lies hurt the liar more than anyone else. If this is the truth, then just be more careful about what you say ... but do not hold anything against his will.